Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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