Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
