ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
