We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
