I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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