Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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