I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
