Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
