Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
