I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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