Actions speak louder than pants.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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