At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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