I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
