i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
MIDGETS
????
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
