I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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