I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
