just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
false alarm, still single
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
