my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
