I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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