no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
