GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
