Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
