By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
