Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
