whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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