Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
