You work out of a Hotel?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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