Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"

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(+82): View more from South Korea

You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.

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(954): View more from Florida

He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(219): View more from Indiana

my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear

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(707): View more from California

Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick

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(707): View more from California

do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me

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(585): View more from New York

I need to sanitize my soul.

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(406): View more from Montana

I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.

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