I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
