i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila