there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
