I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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