if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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