i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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