The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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