Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
