end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
