Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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