just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think your dad took our porno
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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