White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
