I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
