i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
