Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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