Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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