4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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