You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Two words: blizzard sex
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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