So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my sisters under your porch take her home
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Houston, we have a blender
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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