i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
