Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
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My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
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I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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