He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
