The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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