dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
