just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
