Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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