Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
