So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
