i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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