i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
