I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You were trust falling into bushes
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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