you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
