someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
