yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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