I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
