party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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