I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize