dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
