nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
