from now on my penis is your penis
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
