At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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